I pose this question to all women, be truthful, does a mans’ past matter?
If a man who you like and are attracted to approached you and told you that he was a player.. a ‘man whore’ in his past and has changed, would you believe him? If he even went ahead to tell you that he is ready to settle and be with you, would you believe him?
It is easy to say that the past does not matter but I think a lot of us will make exceptions in this situation. What I want to point out though, is the fact that the man is honest with you from day one. He is baring all in the open and telling you, ‘this is who I was, I am not proud of it.. but accept me as I am now!’
Will you accept him though?
Would it be better if he did not tell you about his past in the beginning and after you are neck-deep in the relationship… he then tells you?
See, I need help! I have thought deeply about this issue but I can’t seem to find a satisfying answer. I think it’s great that before a relationship, both parties be honest with each other, however, is there such a thing as being too honest?
For instance, if he starts telling you… in detail… how he had treated his ex-girlfriends, that he cheated and played around or that he had been physically and emotionally abusive, how would you think of him? It could be that he has actually changed and he is letting you know that he is not the same man…it could also be a signal for you to run… there is a truth behind the saying ‘ A tiger does not change his stripes and a leopard does not change his spots’.
For now, I will say that I would definitely judge on a case to case basis. If he was a physically abusive man, I will be like, ‘Thank you and it was a pleasure meeting you..bye Felicia!!’
Hell to the No.. I will not wait for someone to warn me that they have stripes then I wait to see them. BUT … there are definitely exceptions to the rule, we are not perfect and it would be nice to be loved for exactly who we are. You just have to pick the right kind of crazy that you can handle. I am sure there is a woman out there who can handle a previous abuser !!
So tell me, was he honest with you? If he wasn’t, would you have dated him if he was?