How is this month going for you so far? We are not barely even in the second week of the month and I feel like it’s been a roller-coaster…fun, enjoyable but occasionally you get the urge to vomit!!
Well, on the weekend I got a special opportunity to attend one of my friends’ baby shower… see, I have attended a few baby showers in my time and honestly, they were usually a bit draining for me because I felt like I had to try to act excited and knowledgeable while I really wasn’t neither and at the least bothered. Other mothers in the room would share their stories and give advice and I would be sitting there wondering when would be an appropriate time to safely exit.
Being honest, after some of my friends gave birth, I felt slightly disconnected to them. Like I was not part of their group any more, so I would not contact them after and most of them did not contact me either. We would bump into each other either at the mall or social gatherings and I would adore their kids and tell them what a good job they were doing and again…. safely exit the situation.
Don’t get me wrong… I love kids. I just never felt ready… I never felt deserving… I barely consider myself a responsible adult so how could I be responsible for another being… I just never felt ready and adulting is hard enough by myself so imagining children in the mix would be a stretch.
So back to this weekend, my beautiful friend whom I share with the same milestones.. university to first professional job to expert in her field … now is entering the league of motherhood. I was like, here I go again, I am not in that group so this is how our friendship ends….
I went, ready to act excited then safely exit but this time it was different. I am not sure if it was because of this particular friend or perhaps the universe telling me that it is ok. I was anticipating…waiting for my mind to reject the situation but it didn’t. I found myself deeply connected to all the people who were there, I enjoyed the stories and the games… I shared in my friends emotions and I really felt connected to her journey….. it was magical!!
I looked at how gorgeous she was… thinking of the days in university when we were still teenagers then young adults…who would have guessed that we would be celebrating this milestone. I really like this friend of mine and her sense of humour…and I know that her baby will have the most quirkiest, funny and caring mother!! How amazing is that?? I think just imagining that mother and child bond my friend will have made my ovaries shiver in excitement and anticipation!!
I really felt like I was now a part of this amazing phase…. I started imagining how my own child would look like and what kind of mother I would be …. this was a totally new feeling and I was and still am confused.
Anyway, I am not going to say more but wish my friend a beautiful journey into motherhood. Friend, if you are reading this, you are and will continue being a great mother!!
A question to women out there, has this happened to you? if you are a mother now, when did you feel ready to be one?